that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize