That's intense
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
