When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
