Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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