Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
