Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
