Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
