Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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