I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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