just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
