He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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