I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
