Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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