Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
