I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He kissed a someone with a penis
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the night ended with taco bell and tears
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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