Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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