return my video game
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
