Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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