I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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