WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
