The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
