Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
