this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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