kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
