xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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