everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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