That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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