her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
