Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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