Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize