There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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