i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
