i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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