You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
