are you still at the devil's house?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
