woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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