Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
