Kiss
Puke
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
