We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize