Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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