I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got chris browned last night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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