At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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