I can text with my tongue
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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