Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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