I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he puts the penis in happiness.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
