what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
