In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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