if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I currently don't understand fingers.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
