I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
