Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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