Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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