When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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