Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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