Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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